about everything.

the site | the me | that other thing | life | zombies

the site?

before everyone had myspace, i just had my space. right here.

the NLP is probably something like 8 years old. i started the site in high school and basically promised my friends that they would automatically be 33% cooler if they submitted their artistic endeavors to be posted on my site. most of them saw through that ruse pretty quickly, because none of them got any cooler, but the NLP had a good run as an art/lit/music/junk mag.

i added a "rants" section because i was morally opposed to livejournal--that lasted until i got a livejournal.

after we graduated in 2003, the NLP boards remained just one way that our class was able to stay in touch. it took a while, but we realized high school was over, so the Neat Little Package just fell by the wayside as a place where i basically hosted my images and flash movies to post everywhere else on the net.

well, that's not entirely true. no one probably knows it, but i did continue to post my projects every once in a while. after all, the internet is not here to exchange information; it exists so that we can plea for attention.

i'd been meaning to revive the site for a while. it's a project like cleaning out your grandparents' garage--we're talking years of accumulated crap here, but in addition to it all being crap, most of it has sentimental value and probably won't ever be tossed out.

i keep this site around cause it's mine. maybe i'll have it till i'm married and have kids, and then i can share my family with a few select people who care. maybe i'll have it till i'm dead, and then they can post my eulogy. maybe generations from now, i'll will it out to one of my heirs i like the least (or conceivably, the most).

me? | back to top

i'm a 22-year-old college drop out. i'm the deviant offspring of two pretty decent people in Trussvegas, AL. currently, i work in network administration or tech support or networking security or whatever sounds best to you. i do computers, basically.

i got into computers because my dad owns the business. i like computers, but there are other things i'd rather do. i wanted to be a writer. or an artist. or an art critic. or a lawyer. i'm sure at one point i wanted to be president. most recently, i just want to be asleep.

i'm one of those people who is okay at pretty much anything i want to put effort into, but i'll never be particularly talented at any one thing that could possibly earn me a living, make me famous, or otherwise justify my existence. i've always got one or two stupid projects going, and this site is were they will end up.

this is my very own Island of Misfit Toys.

about that other thing... | back to top

well, you probably should have known better.

about life... | back to top

the basis, life according to my dad:

1. nothing is free.
2. people are stupid.
3. stupid people endanger your life.
4. perception is reality.
5. at any given point, someone else wants to eat your lunch.

my amendments:

4. people are beautiful at random, rare moments. because those moments are random and rare, don't count on them and plan for ugliness.

5. sex is a weapon.

6. love is a tired excuse.

7. can'tnevercoulddonuthin'

about zombies... | back to top

what's up with the zombies?

short version: anything you or i do is 10 times more interesting when zombies do it.

long version:

when i was a kid, my dad showed me a sweet little trilogy by Sam Raimi starting with the film Evil Dead. before that, i have no recollection of any sort of fascination with b-grade horror movies, but i know that after my first exposure, i was infected.

of all b movies, i find zombies movies to be the most fun to watch, especially when you add in the creative special effects and on-going inside jokes prevelent throughout the zombie movie culture.

zombie movies don't owe you an explanation. zombies movies don't have to have happy endings. zombie movies can make fun of themselves one minute, then scare the crap out of you the next. the worst zombie movie on earth is still entertaining.

simply, i prefer the worst B-grade, camera-shakin', cheesy, campy zombie movie to most of Hollywood's A-list chest-heaving romances, vapid comedies, and dick-thumping action movies.

socially, zombies represent a possible state of modern man not too far outside the realm of possibility. ever seen wal-mart the day before a major holiday? seen footage of mobs of people tearing other people to pieces? ever watched a college student stumble to his 8 a.m. class after a long, long night? you know... when you're scared of people, because they're not human for that split second.

those are all zombie examples. they are the scariest parts of human nature. the hunger, the violence, the mob mentality, the lack of cognition. we've all been zombies at one point or another.

there's something appealing then, about the hero aspect--being Ash or being that post-apocalyptic surviving machine who hacks through hordes of mindless, aimless, vicious zombies like butter.

i mean, when you consider crowds at Wal-Mart, hacking through mindless hordes comes to mind in particular...

moreover, zombies are fun in a way that only moaning "braaaaaiiiiins" over and over can describe. i have fun with my characters and sometimes people laugh with me.

so. braaaaaiiiiiiinnnnns!